My 21st

I have no idea why I am still keeping this blog.. Well, there's no followers at all though. Throughout the 4 years in Melbourne, I have just too many life experiences. No matter in love, friendship or family. Seems like having a roller coaster every years. By next year august I am going to complete my degree in Melbourne. I wonder what I had done during this few years. I am 21st this year, and I have a boyfriend. But, do I really love him? He seems like a... nobody for me, to be honest. He does not seem the right guy for me either. But, I seem like have to stay with him for a reason.

Oh well, I love the previous guy. The guy who took the all of me, the guy for give me the excitement of life, the guy who made me cry all night, the guy I would love to be with him no matter what's happen. I loved him so much, unfortunately, we can't stay together. And he hurt me so deeply before I get off from this relationship.

I have always thought that friendship will be the second in my life, the first, of course is my family. I got abandoned and ignorance from friends. I wonder if this is my issue to made what had happened in this minute. I judged myself. What is called friend? How does friend keep the relationship with each others? And so, so, so... Just, a million of question marks over my head, spinning around. It's a torture for me indeed. Pey Wei Yeong, I have lost you. But I know you wouldn't care. Yes, you wouldn't because it is your personality. Thank you so much for teaching me how bloody cold you can be. It is really the first time I heard from my besties told me that she wouldn't contact her friend but if you want, you may contact her to ask her out. She was just being too busy to ask someone she feels they might push her away but not with a friend that granted will stay with her. Am I asking for too much or I just need to accept her personality? What would I get in the last then. Lol. Funny...

I can finally read trough what is life. Life is abut money and money... If you have, whoever will treat you go no matter is a good person or bad person.  If you don't have money, then it will be very hard for you to look for a sincere friend because they are only loyal to your money before you. Unless you are looking for the same level kind of friend. Oh well, you will still get abandon due to she wants to look for a 'better quality' friend than you.

Emeia Wong~~ Lol of the Lol. She is brilliant! I must say, if you want to know how fake a person could be? She is one of the billion! I must started to act cuteness and innocent in order to get the attention from the friends. I know I am such a cool type of person. Yes, I am. Hence, I should be humble and learn from her.

I shouldn't complaint about anything over here. It's not the matter of what. I should just learn from them, because this is a pathway of reality. I am still like a little girl living in my princess castle. Sigh.. When will I grow up? When can I be as professional as them? I need some help~~ :X

Unacceptable, Uncompleted & Untouchable Love

It has been a long time since my last post on my own blog. During a year time, I have grown up and explored many issues that I, myself never ever thought about it. After I have been through all these, I found that life can be very easy. It is just depends how would you think about it. I know there'll be no one going to read my blog, but it does not a big matter for me. It is because I live my life. Human beings always judge someone by appearance, achievement and also the restriction of morale is always tied someone down. The life in Melbourne has told me in the world, there's something you should not judge nor criticise. Anyway, there's what I feel throughout a year.

The another reason I started to write this blog again is I would like to write a story. This story is talked about a girl named Jessica. She is a very confidence and out-going girl. Jessica, 20 years old, she is an international student who currently completing her second year in University. This is all about Jessica's love life. From an unacceptable love to an uncompleted love till the untouchable love. It was only seven years since Jessica first fell in love with someone and there's something we might found incredible is, these three love experiences were all Jessica's 'first love'.

An Unacceptable Love

It was back to year 2005, Jessica was 14. She was studying in a girl school. She is very active and passionated in Cheer Leading Club. Therefore, she joined it and always practiced in every Thursday for the competition in Sports Day. In the year, she met a very popular tomboy in her school. She was her senior, Samantha (Sam), 17 years old. She was the niece of the headmistress. Sam was very good at sport. She has a black belt for her Taekwando and she also represented the national to join the world competition. Throughout the five years in her high school, Sam has continuously got champion on the national Taekwando competition. Sam also participated in the running team for school. Every times when she won the game, all the girls in the school will go crazy of it. And this person has spot Jessica when she was doing her Cheer Leading practice. Sam was trying to know Jessica although she knows Jessica was not the 'same range' as her. She got Jessica's number from Jessica's friend and called Jessica every nights. Day by day, Jessica has felt in love with her. Jessica felt she has found someone she likes and judged her sexual direction too. But it does not stopped Jessica to stay along with Sam. Jessica's parents started to feel weird on Jessica as Jessica often text with someone and calling with someone. By chance, Jessica's father got Sam's phone number. He gave a call to Sam and Jessica's father found out that the one her daughter always calling was a girl. Meaning that his daughter has felt in love with a girl. His daughter is a lesbian. He was so angry and told this to Jessica's mother. Jessica's parents felt very upset and do not want to believe the truth. Her parents tried to convince Jessica and there was a period of time Jessica got monitored by her cousin sister who studied in the same school with Jessica. No matter what her parents tried to do to stop Jessica, she stands very strong on her minded that she loved Sam very much and nothing could make them be apart. There's what Jessica felt and thought. However, thing does not come with what Jessica wish to. There's one day Jessica found out that Sam has a girlfriend. And this girlfriend, she is Jessica's best friend. Jessica was shocked. She does not acknowledged that. However, she cannot help but keep this relationship with Sam. She endured, waited and hoped Sam will understand how much Jessica has contributed to her. In the end, nothing was worked out. Sam choose to go back to her girlfriend. Sam left a last sentence to Jessica. "I love you. But our timing was wrong.", there's what Jessica heard the last sentence from Sam. Yet, Sam has left Jessica's world. Those sweet memories such as escaped from Sam's admirer/fans, stayed back from school and watched each other completing their homework, dated after school, kiss, huge and millions time of saying 'I love you'. It has become a past for Jessica. Her first love ended in this way. A wrong timing, an unacceptable love. Since that, Jessica never felt in love with anyone anymore. She felt hurt, she cried, she blanked out. During that time, Jessica often locked herself in her room. No one can understand her pain and no one she could speaks with. Just because this is an unacceptable love. She has no one to talk with. She started to stay alone.

After completed her high school, Jessica went to University. Jessica came alone to Ireland and enrolled in Foundation course. At first, she was very hard to get closer with other as she will feel shy when she met someone that she is not close with. Jessica lived with her a housemate. She was thinking she could start a brand new life in Ireland since she has left far away from Sam. She started to go to school and have started her new life too. Jessica is very popular to the guys and she has also got some close girl's friend too. Jessica met a guy named Terrance who studying in same class with her. Both of them had a crush towards each other. Terrance held Jessica's hand and was being very close with Jessica. Jessica felt she might not a lesbian at that moment and feeling so happy when spending the time with Terrance. Meanwhile, there's another guy, Kenny happened in Jessica's life too. Occasionally, Jessica got bullied from her housemate. She was suffered and felt helpless. By accidentally, Kenny gave a call to Jessica. Jessica asked for help from Kenny and he came to Jessica house, then brought Jessica out from her place to have a fresh breath. During that time, Jessica felt upset and helpless. She cried and was having homesick. Kenny spent time with her, made her laugh, made her feel better. Jessica felt very secure when Kenny was there. However, she knows the one she likes from the bottom of her heart is Terrance. She was waiting for Terrance to confess to her. However, thing does not worked out as Jessica's thought. Again, she missed her love one. Kenny confessed to Jessica. She just agreed to go with Kenny after a long waited the confession from Terrance. Jessica kept the secret from Terrance that she has actually dating with Kenny. However, there's one day, Terrance found out that. Jessica has hurt Terrance and Terrance did not get in touch with Jessica anymore. She lost a friend, she lost the one she loves. Jessica was sad, but she keeps trying to work out with Kenny. Their love life was not that complete as Jessica was not really loves Kenny but just feeling secure with him. They had retained this relationship for more than a year. Perhaps Kenny and Jessica know the best on what was happening with their relationship. This uncompleted love, uncommitted love has ended by Kenny who asked for break up.

to be continued...

I am back!

Today 25 September 2010. The first time in this year I am writing this blog. Feeling like.. weird? I had a fight with someone again. Feeling so stress and no where to express. Feeling so frustrated. And now, I realised that I have nothing to say. BAKA! Oh well, et's say soemthing happy! I am planning to go Japan in this coming november! I am so happy for this because I love to travel in japan so much! Remember the last time I went to Japan for Youth Exchange student program. I met a lot of people and explored many culture and lifestyle in Japan! This time, I am going to visit my host family in Japan! I think, I need to brush up my Japanese. Wanna learn better but don't really have that kind of spirit to do. Feeling lazy... I have one assignment need to hand up on Monday!! But today is already Saturday. And, I want to go Royal Melbourne Show! Struggling..... Haiz.... Tired.. But dont feel want to go to bed. Thats all for today LA!!!! Good night!

2months plus in Melbourne, Meet some new Buddy~~

It has been a long time I did not write my blog.. I was enjoyed my study life in Melbourne within this 2months. haha~~ Before that I was bored and kept complaining the inconvenience of Melbourne; however, recently I found that I do love this country - Australia. A good whether, friendly people, nice scence, fabolous University as well as have a lot of good friends. Erm.. Let me describe my friends to you. The first name must be Pey Wei. She's from Penang, Malaysia. She likes a guy from her NS(National Service) camp. However, the guy is her Camp teacher who is 38 years old! Moreover, he is Indian! I'm not racist on Indian, I do have a lot of Indian friends as well. But it is such a weird to fall in love to a Indian, not good looking and old uncle lolz~~ She is just 17 going to 18 but she falls to an Indian guy! But I did not say much about her love story. I just be a good listener and listened what she was trying to tell me. Pey Wei is a very hardworking, quiet, nice and funny girl. I most prefer to stay with her. She is very good in english and she does help me a lot in my study. I love to chat with her, laugh with her. Sometimes people will thought that we are lesbian. Because we do react like a lesbon. haha~~ Such a funny things for us. The following friend that I would like to introduce is Emelia Wong. If you say your girlfriend is cute? No way~~ She must be the cuteness in the world.. haha~~ She is intelligent, good in grammar of english and creativity in all the design work. She has a good sense in fashion of wearing although she is chubby. Emelia, Pey Wei and I are from Malaysia and we always hang out together. Tatt is a childish guy although he already 20 years old. He always make some fool or tell some joke in the class. He is a hardworking, obedient and funny guy. Everyone in my class can go well with him. Raaja Rao from Malaysia as well. He is a clubbing guy but he has a lot of idea in his study. He always gve some idea and speak out darely in the class. He told us that in Malaysia he was flirted with a lot of girls and owns more experience in his sexual life.. haha~~ Dont tell Raaja okay? haha~~~ Yoshi, we do describe him as born in Indonesia, parents are from Japan and China, tall and smart science stream guy. Bio and Physic as well as Pure Math. What can I say? Smart....... That's the only word I can describe about him. Chompuu, Thailand Girl. With a strong thai accent of english and natural cuteness make people couldnt breath well. hahaha~~~ This is about MomoJojo Princess Diary in Melbourne! Have a nice day my dear friends~~

极度无聊的一天

在墨尔本的日子感觉像度日如年。今天早上睡到12。30才起身。不是自愿起来而是被我亲爱的表姐给叫醒的。她给我打电话说她带不够钱，要我到market去给她送钱去。为什么她不能自己去按钱呢?银行就在正对面呀!但最后，我还是送了。外面的天气很冷，我身穿睡衣，带着满满的睡意，领了厚厚的大衣，就这样忘了带钥匙就出去了。在market买了东西回家后，我小表姐还在睡。我呢?就坐在电脑前，好无目的的坐了两个小时。过后，有一位朋友打了通电话给我。我还满高兴的。以为和他的友谊又进一步了。但，我现在开始厌恶了。不想和他说话了。因为他说了一些事实不过的事实。直中红心。。。可怜的我。不。应该说我可怜我自己。越说越可怜。。。好了!今天的时就忘了吧!明天是重新的开始。加油吧!!!

Sucking caused by GAY

Well, let me think that how to start my bad word to this gay.. He is good looking, cute and smart! Undoubtedly, he is so intelligent. However, he is soooo mean, selfish, greed and psycho.. (Agreed). I am trying my best to communicate with this gay, unfortunately, he reflects weird to me! Not much people in my class knows he is a gay (that's only 3 of us know!) What should I said, is actually my fault make something bad occured. I asked him " Hey! Are you a GAY???" What kind of stupid question i asked! But, he answered me, "YES. I am" Wowwww.. Cool... But I am not suspected or expected any answer other than it.. I used my poor English to communicated with him in MSN, it became more worse between both of us.. He misunderstood I look down on him.. (How stupid am I??!!) Anyway, he started to ignored me.. Poor me.. The first sight, I thought he is my cup of tea!! However, he was not! A GAY!!!! I'm not look down on him.. I can be friend with them. However, he's like not afraid to tell the truth to others but another way, worry that others people know his secret.. How poor he is.. Stop pretending okay??? I'm so sick of this kind of people.. Should I left him? Yes, I did.. I hate gossip and drama but i really need to take action to..... Block Him.. I did!! How cruel am I? Nope! He did more cruel than me! I want to expressed my feeling to my friend but i do not want to create a lot of drama. So just keep and expressed here!! Hehe... You dude! Hate you a lot you know??? I just want to be friend with you but you always act like you are the lord of the word! I really can't stand with it anymore! Stop doing such childish and meaningless stuffs.. Clever doesnt mean everything, {of course, stupid is a serious factors}.. In the past 7 months, I will detect you! No worries.. You won't get interrupt or whatever from me! Alright.. Take a deep breath and shout " I'm RELEASE!!!! You dude!!!! hahahahahhaa" Yeah! I'm back! Who am I?? MomoJojo.. haha!